The Humor Page

Lien: What your house does after a mild earthquake

Point: What an underwriter makes when he tells you about your credit score

ARM: Half of what a house costs in our area

Mitigation:  Profit sharing 

Earnest Money: Eddie's rich brother

Joint Tenancy: A stoner is squatting in my house

The electrical engineer says,"It must be the starter, let me rewire it."

The mechanical engineer says,"It must be in the transmission, let me take it apart."

The software engineer says,"Let's just get out of the car and then get back in and see if it starts."

The cannibal family runs out of food at home, so the husband runs down to the deli to see what's fresh.  (how new age).  There he finds, attractively displayed, some doctor brains, some engineer brains, both priced at $200/lb and some realtor brains,  priced at $500/lb.  Astounded, he asks the proprietor, "why are the realtor brains so expensive?", to which the man replies, "do you know how many we have to kill to get 1 pound??"

"Old Native American adage"

A young brave who walks quickly across hot coals leaves a small carbon footprint.

A guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender.
The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini."
The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?"
The guy guesses, "168."
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, but he is curious...
So he goes back into the bar.
The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini."
Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "100."
The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time.
He goes back into the bar.
The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini.
The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "Uh, about 50."
The robot leans in real close and says, "So, where are interest rates headin'?"