| Real Estate Definitions
Lien: What your house does after a mild earthquake
Point: What an underwriter makes when he tells you about your credit score
ARM: Half of what a house costs in our area
Mitigation: Profit sharing
Earnest Money: Eddie's rich brother
Joint Tenancy: A stoner is squatting in my house
| Three engineers are in a car that suddenly stops running.
The electrical engineer says,"It must be the starter, let me rewire it."
The mechanical engineer says,"It must be in the transmission, let me take it apart."
The software engineer says,"Let's just get out of the car and then get back in and see if it starts."
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The cannibal family runs out of food at home, so the husband runs down to the deli to see what's fresh. (how new age). There he finds, attractively displayed, some doctor brains, some engineer brains, both priced at $200/lb and some realtor brains, priced at $500/lb. Astounded, he asks the proprietor, "why are the realtor brains so expensive?", to which the man replies, "do you know how many we have to kill to get 1 pound??"
| When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
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